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The Great Pretender
Appearances can be deceiving... A common mistake is to compare our inner feelings, thoughts and perceptions with the exterior appearance of others. We make the assumption that their inner feelings are being displayed. With that in mind, think about how often we put on a ‘happy face’ but feel miserable – other people do that too! When we look at people and think - they are so happy, carefree and lucky, take a minute to wonder if they may also be hiding their misery, pain or low self-esteem. Just because a person looks ‘the business’ doesn’t mean they feel as confident and well prepared as they appear. While it may not be helpful to ‘picture them naked’ as a way of reducing your intimidation, it is a good idea to look for signs that they are not all they appear to be. Nervous tic, fiddling with hands, hair, feet or taking deep breaths are all signs that their composure is not internal. Realise that if you are nervous or scared in a situation then it is likely, to a certain degree, to apply to everyone. No one is perfect as they would like to appear! Feel reassured that you are not alone, many people hide their true feelings for a number of valid reasons. As the song by The Platters / Freddie Mercury goes ….
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender (ooh, ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell
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Contributor's Note
The lyrics from The Great Pretender by The Platters and Freddie Mercury show how prevalent this phenomenon is.
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May, 2012
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